A Stable Home
by jaytan
Summary: Bella has never really had a place she felt comfortable calling home, growing up with a mother who neglected and used her and without her father left her damaged. It all changes when she learns about her fathers illness and returns to Forks where she is pulled into a world that shouldn't exist, a world that could only be described as supernatural.
1. Chapter 1

**1\. Small talk and Clumsiness**

Bella had not been close to her father growing up and she had been shocked when he called her up begging her to come visit him. She had put off most visits after she legally became an adult and got as far from her mother as she could get. She was quite happy living her life without the hassle of a mother who didn't give a shit about her and a father who really wasn't around. Not to say that Charlie hadn't tried, he had wanted her to live with him so badly when she was a child and her mother being the spiteful woman she was made sure it wasn't possible by dragging her all over the damn country just so he couldn't be happy. Charlie did what he could for her and even set up an account for her and did his best to make sure he sent her maternal grandparents money for the essentials for her, Renee had eventually dumped her on them until she found a new boyfriend to take care of her, it was the never ending cycle and Bella was kept mostly in the dark about her father. When her grandparents passed away she was put into care until her mother discovered they had left her an inheritance, then she mattered. Bella had not been old enough to know better and she believed her mother when she told her she would use the money to buy them a house and promised her no more moving, of course she had been bullshitting.

So of course when she had gotten a call from her father it had caught her off guard, she had made it out to visit him a few years before and he had begged her to stay, she wanted to because he genuinely seemed to care but she was so afraid of what her mother would do if she didn't go back. It cut at her when she remembered the hurt on his face, he told her he loved her and she was always welcome, she wished she could believe him but she couldn't hold onto any sort of hope that would mean a stable and happy life for her because no matter what Renee always seemed to come and pull the rug from under her.

At 19 she had been accepted to a decent college in New York and Renee had backed off when she finally managed to sucker her out of the last bit of money she had. Thankfully she was able to get a scholarship and there had been a college trust that Renee couldn't touch. Finally she could have a life of her own and as soon as she could she changed all her passwords, switched accounts and changed her number. It was a miracle her mother hadn't fucked up her credit, she was able to pay off her debts and secure her information at least. Bella felt like she was finally okay and then he called and he was sick and unsure of how much longer he would be around and she felt the weight of the world once again. Packing her things she knew she would have to make it a quick trip to make it back without it affecting her grades, she had been lucky enough to get her assignments extended by a week so she could at least visit him without rushing everything. Bella's hands shook as her cab approached the airport. Knowing she would be seeing Charlie for the first time in years made her stomach twist in the most uncomfortable knots.

The flight was quiet and she had brought her laptop to work on her most important assignment, she had managed to get it finished and started with her second by the time they had arrived in Seattle, she anxiously tapped her fingers on her lap while they all waited to be unloaded, she had one more flight and she would be there. The man seated next to her shot her an annoyed glare, she bit her tongue this complete stranger did not need to be so rude to her. "I was polite enough not to complain about your incessant key tapping the duration of the flight but would you mind just giving it a rest?"Bella clasped her hands together instead, she had not thought about that and felt a bit guilty. "Sorry about that, I hadn't thought about how irritating that might be for anyone else." He shrugged and then sighed. "It's alright, just a long flight, sorry I didn't mean to snap at you." She apologized again. Bella hadn't really looked at anyone on the plane until that moment, she would definitely be more considerate on the way back home. He smiled and extended his hand "I'm Edward." She smiled politely back at him. "Nice to meet you I'm Marie." She hadn't wanted to tell this complete stranger her real name, he could be some psycho stalker for all she knew. Plus he looked like a high school student playing dress up, designer suit and all, what kind of person managed to not even crinkle or crease an insanely crisp suit anyway?

The small talk was finally done with and she was able to get off to catch her connecting flight. Almost as if in one of those Romantic comedies or perhaps just a regular comedy she found herself in line to board the plane behind the wall street looking kid, he turned around and smiled awkwardly at her. Great Bella thought now I'll have to be stuck making polite conversation with this man child again, something had made him chuckle and she shook her head. Just mind your manners Bella, its a short flight and things could be worse. The guy, Edward had taken to talking to the older man ahead of him and she felt relieved that she may not have to talk to anyone again. Bella pulled her phone out and scrolled through her playlists, she could just listen to whatever for now and she did, the flight was much shorter but far less comfortable than the bigger plane had been.

As she picked up her suitcase at baggage she noticed there was a tall dark and very good looking guy standing there staring at her, she paused and he waved. Was she supposed to know him? "Bella?" The man approached her cautiously, she nodded dumbly as she took out her earbuds. "Yea, and sorry you are?" She said as she hesitantly reached for his hand. "Jacob Black, I'm a friend of your dad's he's having a pretty rough day and as much as he wanted to be here to get you, he couldn't" Bella nodded sympathetically, she was even more afraid to see him now. It terrified her to imagine seeing him so sick. Jacob helped her with her bags and escorted her to his truck. There was a woman sitting in the front seat, she had jumped out and greeted Bella with what sounded like a forced introduction. "I'm Leah." The woman said through mostly ground teeth. "Our parent's are married, so I guess you're like my step...something." Bella nodded, she had received pictures of the wedding, she had declined the invitation because Renee was on one of her binges and she was afraid if she left her she might overdose or something. "Nice to meet you." Bella had said, she felt ashamed she hadn't made any real effort to ask about Charlie's new family but it was just too much. Climbing in the back of the massive truck Bella did her best to remain as quiet as possible which was easy seeing as Jacob and Leah didn't seem to want to talk to her anyway, she guessed they thought she was as awful as she felt for not visiting her father.

When they pulled up to the house she had remembered so fondly, she could feel the lump in her throat rising, this could have been her childhood home and this could have been her stability, she hated thinking it but it should be Renee that wound up sick, not the parent that actually gave a fuck about her. It made her hate her mother even more. Bella swallowed and wiped at her eyes quickly before either of her chaperones could notice. Leah had caught her though and sighed. "Sorry I was rude back there, Charlie means a lot to me and since my dad passed away, hes been there..." Bella blinked and more tears started to fall. "He said you had your reasons, I believe him, sorry though." Bella nodded slowly and she felt so numb. Taking a deep breath she steeled herself, she nearly tumbled out of the truck and onto her face before someone caught her. "Whoa there girl." It was another tall dark and good looking, Bella blushed, god she was such a mess. This man set her down gently and apologized "Sorry I didn't know anyone was back there." He said pointing the spot she'd so ungracefully fell from. Bella looked up and was startled by the sudden feeling she had, was she losing her mind. Somewhere in the background she could hear Leah's hysterical laughter and Jacob's groans. "Of course it would be you." He had said to the man. Unsure of what was happening Bella blinked a few times, trying to break the spell of the man in front of her. "You could at least introduce yourself to her you idiot." Leah said as she shoved him out of the way. Bella hadn't noticed just how tall the woman was until she stood next to these even taller men. The man stuttered and extended is hand nearly taking her eye out which only made Leah and Jacob laugh, Bella thought it was rude. "Oh fuck, shit, sorry." He managed to say. Bella covered her eye and nodded. "Uh its alright, I guess." He turned around to glare at his friends, or at least she thought they were his friends. "I'm Paul and I'm not usually this…" he gestured to her eye and then back at the door. "clumsy...sorry." Bella forced herself to smile but winced at the pain, she knew it had been an accident but why did it feel like he'd hit her with a 2x4? She'd be lucky if it didn't swell up or bruise.

Leah had come up to help Bella to the house, she was grateful that she wouldn't have to stand around being laughed at anymore. They entered and she could no longer hold back as she saw her father struggle to sit up from what looked like a hospital bed set up in the living room. Bella dropped her things and rushed over to his side, unsure if she could hold him without breaking him she grabbed his hand and then sobbed. Charlie pulled her into a hug and sobbed with her. "I'm sorry Bells." He had said when their sobs dwindled down to sniffles. Bella shook her head sadly, she knew he had nothing to be sorry for but she couldn't get the words out. They held each other until Charlie could not physically do it any more. Bella held his hand while he slept and barely looked around the room, if she had she would have noticed that his wife had brought her water and food. Bella would have also noticed there were many tall dark men hovered around the small house and particularly one clumsy man who she had only just met who had been anxiously pacing without trying to get too close to her.

Bella had woken up in a small bed, she startled awake, where the hell was she. Sitting up she looked around the room. It was her room, the one Charlie had called her own when she came to visit even if it was only a handful of times. Bella began to sob again, she couldn't seem to stop herself, it was all so overwhelming, someone knocked gently and let themselves in. "I'm sorry Bella, if you'd like I can get one of the guys to help me move the bed downstairs so you can be with your father." Bella sniffled wiping at her face. "I'm Sue, I don't know if he ever told you about me." Bella sat up and looked at the woman, she had kind eyes and a beautiful face, Leah clearly looked like her mother. "Of course, he loves you very much." Bella had told her honestly, she realized she hadn't even properly introduced herself and felt awful. "I didn't get a chance to meet you downstairs, I feel bad." Sue smiled kindly at her, she reached over and grabbed Bella's hand no hesitance in a gesture she could only assume was motherly Bella felt the tears coming again. "I wish I could have..." Bella tried to say. Sue simply sat next to her on the bed, pulling her into a hug making Bella ugly cry again. How selfish she was to be weeping while Sue did everything to make sure her father was comfortable, she vowed then to be more useful and make sure she didn't waste the whole visit crying. Bella cleaned up and eventually made her way back downstairs, the amount of giants who sat with her father was alarming. Where did these men come from? As if they were some synchronized swim team they all turned around to look at her. Bella could only duck her head and try not to make eye contact, had they all been here to witness her crying? She smiled awkwardly and went back to her fathers bedside, he seemed to be in better spirits today. He clucked his tongue at the men "Don't any of you be getting any idea's." Bella blushed a shade of red she wasn't sure she had ever been and the men all began to laugh. All except for one she could feel his eyes on her, she fanned herself and then when that wasn't enough she excused herself to the kitchen.

"Don't let them get to you, they still act like toddlers because they practically are toddlers." Leah had said when she followed her into the kitchen. Bella frowned. "They all look so old though." she had whispered to Leah, at the rumble of laughter she had heard from the other room she could swear they had heard her. Leah snorted. "Yea well, genetics and whatnot." Bella blinked, unsure of what that could even mean. "Does that make you all related?" Leah tilted her head to the side, looking thoughtful. "You could say we're related, maybe not all blood related but those guys are my family." Bella smiled, she wished she could have that connection with anyone. Leah glanced back to the room and back at Bella. "Since Charlie is family, that makes you our family too." Bella looked up at the woman and smiled. It was almost like she could read her mind, Bella internally rolled her eyes at that thought. People could not read minds. She decided she liked Leah, even if she was quite intimidating in almost every way.

The group of men dwindled down slowly as the evening wore on, Bella had been introduced to Sue's son Seth, she had been startled when he'd picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder just to prove how unchild like he was, it had clearly been a topic of discussion long before her arrival. Standing over 6 feet and looking built but not as bulky as some of the other guys, she did find it very hard to believe he was only 16, although she wasn't going to judge. It seemed to amuse everyone except for the man who had caught her from her fall, Paul, she could swear he looked livid and she couldn't understand why, Seth seemed to understand although he clearly didn't seem bothered and continued to make Bella feel as welcome as possible by what she assumed were just friendly touches.

The days had unfortunately begun to pass all too quickly and Bella was dreading the trip back to New York, she was seriously reconsidering a lot of things as she wanted to be able to spend whatever time her father had left with him. And honestly she felt like she was leaving a huge part of herself behind and she couldn't begin to understand why that was. She had gotten along with her new family so well, she could honestly say she would be sad to leave them. Sue and Leah especially, all her life she had wanted a mother like Sue, she was grateful her father at least had gotten to love someone like her. And Leah had been so easy to talk to, she really enjoyed her company. Charlie had been okay enough to come with her to the airport to see her off, she could see the sadness in his eyes once again and she knew what she had to do. Bella had asked Leah for her opinion and she gave it honestly and harshly which she appreciated. "Go back, talk to an adviser and decide from there. Don't do something stupid like quit, they may be able to help you transfer to a closer college, just don't be an idiot and quit." Bella chuckled, she was absolutely right and she had honestly panicked and thought about quitting and never going back. Bella hugged her father tightly and held back on her tears, she would be back and she just prayed he would make it long enough.

Unfortunately Bella could not just transfer on such short notice so she was forced to withdraw so she didn't fail but her adviser had given her some great contacts and made her promise to keep in touch until she was set up at her new school, which probably wouldn't be until the next semester but Bella could be okay with that, it would give her more time with her dad. She packed up her things and was headed back to Forks, more anxious than she had been and she couldn't explain why.


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN: I very quickly want to say thank you for the interest in this fic, this chapter is a bit strange if you've ever read my other fics I rarely use the Cullen's but I honestly like this dynamic I've created and am probably going to bring back this character as well as introduce a few of the Cullen's throughout the duration of this fic. And for clarification I'm going to leave the ages of the character's here so none of us(especially me)forgets. Bella, Rachel & Rebecca Black 19, Paul, Jared, Embry 20, Quil and Leah 21. Jacob and Sam are 23 (Jacob was the first to phase because its in his blood and whatnot)and Seth is still a youngin at sweet 16. I realize there will be many people who don't agree with this dynamic or with all the changes(there are sooo many changes) and thats fine, you can quit here and I wont be offended, for those of you who stick it out I would love to hear your thoughts on it. **_

**2\. The Road Back.**

Bella could not believe her luck when she was seated next to the same moody guy from the first flight. "Are you fucking kidding me." She said under her breath, he laughed loudly in the small space when he looked up and saw her again. "Bella was it?" he smiled brightly at her. She frowned for a moment and he looked like he'd been caught. "I'm sorry it's Marie right?" She nodded and sat down feeling unsure about him. "I've just been on a lot of flights lately and I can't say why but you don't really seem much like a Marie." Bella smiled tightly at this strange guy and she just gestured to her earbuds, she didn't have to be polite to anyone, he frowned and then put his own headphones on. At some point she had fallen asleep, she dreamt about being home with her father and Sue and the guys she hoped she could call friends someday and suddenly it became very dark, her mother had found her and began to sever her new ties and drag her away kicking and screaming. Bella twitched and began to cry, her neighbor had woken her up. "Are you alright?" She sat up straighter looking around at the concerned faces, around her. "Yea, sorry bad dream." She had said, it didn't seem to ease anyone around her any and especially not her neighbor as he eyed her skeptically. "Really, I'm fine, thanks again for the concern." She hadn't meant to sound so...rude but it was really just a dream. Bella pulled out her book and began to read, she couldn't seem to focus because she could feel what was his name, Edward? She could feel him watching her. Sighing loudly she looked at him. "Can I help you Edwin." She said, he smirked at her. "Its Edward." He said and she shrugged her shoulders. "It really doesn't matter does it?" This was just an odd coincidence that we happened to be seat mates again. I mean what are the chances we are going to see each other again?" He didn't seem to be offended by her tone and she felt a bit bad about being so harsh with him. "Ugh, sorry but I really hate forced interaction, like I could not think of a more awkward scenario right now." She told him honestly. He chuckled, nodding in agreement. "That's true, it was just nice to see a somewhat familiar face again. We definitely don't have to talk though, we probably have nothing in common anyway." She smiled despite herself, he was very charming she would give him that. "What brings you back anyway." She decided she may as well learn some new stuff about him, who knows maybe she would bump into him again. "Well my family lives in Forks and I've been back and forth from the East Coast for a while." Well then she supposed she would run into him again at least once or twice more. "And what about yourself." He asked her, she wondered if he may have known somehow already. "I came back to visit my father." She knew her tone had changed and that he had probably picked up on it. She continued before he could tell her how sorry he was. "You may know him, the Chief of Police." Edward seemed to understand. "Your father is a very kind man, he had been very welcoming to my family when not many others cared to give us a chance." Bella smiled a real smile at Edward. "I am Bella by the way, not sure how you would have known that." Edward laughed. "I actually overheard your friend at baggage." Bella rolled her eyes, of course he had. There was still something that seemed off about him but she decided it didn't matter he seemed nice enough. The plane landed and they exited together, she was meant to switch over to the next flight but a familiar face had stopped her.

The guy she had referred to in her own mind as clumsy was there. "Paul?" she called him hesitantly. He seemed to move quickly toward her, she should have been alarmed at the speed he moved but for some inexplicable reason she was rooted to that spot watching him glide toward her. He looked agitated and she wasn't sure why, until he reached her and sniffed at her. "What the fuck…" She whisper yelled at him. "What are you doing." He grabbed her and hugged her and it was like her arms moved on their own and she was hugging him back. Like they had known each other their whole lives. "Paul I hope you're going to tell me what's going on because I feel like a crazy person right now." He sighed heavily and let her go, she had to admit holding him had made her feel strangely secure. He nodded. "I'll explain when we get you back home." She tried to shake that odd feeling of ease, she did not know him well enough to be this comfortable around him.

Instead of even questioning him, like a normal person Bella found herself just being led out to his SUV after they retrieved her luggage, she didn't think he would hurt her or anything like that but she just felt so weird about the whole situation. He helped her into the passenger side, she was a little disappointed to not see Leah or anyone else but she didn't say anything. Paul took a long look at her before starting the car, he looked as though he had missed her but how could that be possible when he barely knew her. She thought about the way he sniffed her, the too quick movement at the airport, how had no one else even noticed that? "Paul, why does it feel like I've known you my whole life, like we are connected in some way but we've barely spoken since I met you?" He shrugged and remained quiet, she wanted to press him because she wanted answers but she started to think maybe the answers wouldn't be something she wanted to hear. So as they drove, she stared out at the endless green, she watched until it blurred together and then something caught her eye. Bella tensed up and Paul noticed, she was going crazy, there was no way she had seen what looked like a man running along side them. It was not possible. "You alright?" He looked over and just as he did so a figure appeared on the road ahead. Paul slammed on the brakes, his right arm instinctively locking across her chest so she didn't get whiplash. Bella blinked and shook her head, the figure moved closer to the vehicle. "Fucking nosy Leech." Paul spat out. He got out, and approached the figure, Bella blinked trying to figure out how the fuck it was possible for her to be seeing the guy from the plane. Like did he just materialize out of thin air or what? She watched as Paul and possibly Edward from the plane chatted, like just in the middle of the highway. Edward took that moment to look at her and wave, she felt herself pale. Perhaps she passed out and dreamt it all because when she came to he was back in the SUV and they were driving again. Except she could hear Paul talking and then another voice she recognized. Edward.

Bella jolted upright, turning to the back, Edward simply smiled at her and continued talking to Paul, they sounded liked they had known each other for quite some time. Edward stopped talking, looked at her and nodded. "We have." Bella was freaking the fuck out because she was positive she had not said that out loud. "Yo, can you keep that freaky mind fuck thing you do to yourself please." Paul had asked him, they both looked at her and chuckled. What the fuck. Bella had no idea what was happening. She started to try put together pieces with what she had known so far. So apparently Edward could read minds, he nodded. So that was not normal. He scoffed. "Its a curse is what it is." He said bitterly. Paul rolled his eyes. "So are you some sort of cult or something." she couldn't even take herself seriously, like how would that give them these freaky abilities. They both seemed to move at extraordinary speeds, as she had witness Paul do at the airport and Edward on the side of the car. Paul sighed. "Not a cult, think Transylvania and Full moons" That made Edward laugh. Bella looked between the two of them. "Please be serious." Bella did think about it though Transylvania was known for what, Dracula but that was strictly myth. Edward glanced at her and smiled she gasped when fangs, actual fucking fangs seemed to emerge from his upper gums. Paul barked out a laugh. "Did you really just show her your fangs?" Edward's mouth had morphed a more human shape now. Bella tried not to panic, it was all so weird though. She looked at Paul, "Does that make you a vampire too?" He shook his head and she wasn't sure why she felt relieved that he wasn't because it didn't change the fact that he was also something inhuman. "Nah, you're going to have to guess though, I cant tell you. It goes against everything I am." Edward gave him an odd look just then. "Does it? I assumed since she was your...what do you guys call it." Paul was giving him the 'shut the fuck up' look but Edward continued on anyway. "Imprint! That you would be able to tell her." Paul was quiet for a few moments. "Yea I guess you're right." He pulled the vehicle over. "Its probably best I just show you, its pretty fucking freaky but please do me one favor." Bella felt like her chest was tightening, she was suddenly terrified. "Whatever you do, don't get out of this car okay?" He didn't wait for her to answer, just stepped out and shut the door. She thought about his words, 'freaky' but what could possibly be scarier than a Vampire?! Edward smiled. "I agree, its really not as terrifying as he'll have you believe." Paul stepped out of his shoes and began to undress. Bella's face instantly turned four shades of red. "Oh just get on with it." Edward said. Paul just laughed before turning toward the trees and as he was mid air his body began to transform. Bella wasn't sure what to make of what was happening. In a matter of seconds a giant grey wolf stood where Paul had been. Bella blinked and opened her mouth to say something but closed it again. There were no words. "Pffft, hes just a pile of fur." Edward had said, he seemed amused by her reaction. Paul transformed and began to dress again. Edward had caught her watching and couldn't help but say something. "He will probably tell you a lot of negative things about his shape shifting abilities but I must say to be built like that at 20 years old, hes got it made and apparently now so do you." Bella blinked and then laughed, this had to be some sort of weird dream. She was not sitting in a car with a vampire while a werewolf, shapeshifter guy stood outside putting his clothes back on. Paul climbed back in and buckled up, looking at her. Bella had calmed down somewhat but she still couldn't just believe this was real life, she was 19 years old, god what if the years of Renee's hippy medicines were catching up with her and she was finally just permanently in the state of hallucination.

"She doesn't think its real." Edward had told Paul. Bella thought of something, weren't vampires and werewolves like mortal enemies or something? These guys just hung out? "If you're what you say you are then why are we just hanging out like the Adams family?" Paul shrugged. "The Cullen's have been around a lot longer than we have and we sort of worked out a deal, since they know much more about being a cold one than we ever could we do this thing, where we help each other out. They help us keep the ones who are trying to kill our people or any people out of the area and we let them come and go as they please." She decided that was actually very reasonable. "What about other places though, are there more shape shifters?" Paul and Edward looked at each other. "We are working on finding out right now, the Cullen's have been following what we think might be a shapeshifting family." Bella nodded. "So does this have to do with why I feel like I suddenly cant live without you." She had asked boldly. Paul kept his eyes on the road but nodded. "Yes, its happened with just a few of us." Bella sat quietly, trying to absorb all this information, so did that make Paul her soul mate, she wasn't sure how to feel about any of it. Bella needed to clear her head of all this, she remembered what Edward had said on the plane about Charlie accepting his family, did that mean he knew as well? Bella looked back, she assumed he could hear her thoughts anyway. Edward nodded, "A lot of people in Forks suspect it and even know it but continue to deny what their instincts tell them about us." He smiled sadly. "Your father has known for quite some time and he is surprisingly very good with weird." She smiled, it made her feel something, maybe pride that her father had been so accepting like that. Bella decided it would be interesting to know just what about Vampires she had read came close to being true.

"How can you be out in the sunlight?"bella had been wondering. Edward shrugged. "My family and I have discovered a lot of things since we stopped drinking human blood, for instance, there are animals which are much richer in nutrients than many modern day humans."He scrunched his nose. "The diet of what we eat affects how we survive, since animals continue to keep the most balanced diets, we continue to thrive as a species and are able to adapt to our environments much like the animals we feed from." He looked very normal but she remembered that feeling she had gotten on the plane. "So apart from being out in the sun like any normal person, eating a balanced diet of animal blood, running super fast and mind reading what else can vampires do?" He laughed. "I am the only one of our species I know at this time who can read minds, my sister Alice can sometimes predict the future but it doesn't seem to be a very reliable ability. We, like our friends the shapeshifters, have hyper senses, we can see and hear what most people can not." Bella nodded along, it was so interesting, she looked at Paul, the corner of his mouth had turned up.

Edward had told her a few stories about his "youth" as they drove on and Bella was beginning to accept this was her new reality, it was strange and a little bit scary but she had to admit with the two men who were currently teasing each other as she listened on, she felt comfortable. As they approached Forks Edward hopped out, she felt a little sad to be saying goodbye. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you around, Paul will have to bring you by to meet the rest of my family, I'm sure they'd love to be able to have someone to tell their stories to." She smiled and nodded, she really did want to meet them all. "I would really like that, it's been an interesting journey home." Bella chuckled and both men grinned at her.

Edward gave a polite nod and just like that he was gone. "That is really unnerving." Bella hadn't meant to say out loud and she was afraid she had offended Paul as the silence stretched on. Finally he looked up at her and she could see the uncertainty in his eyes, the feeling was so strange, this overwhelming need to touch him, to reassure him of what, she wasn't quite sure yet. Bella's hands trembled as she fought that odd sensation to just reach over, Paul noticed. "I know its weird and maybe it'll just get weirder, I'm sorry I dragged you into this." He sounded like he really believed this was somehow his fault. Bella took a steadying breath and reached for his hand, the sudden jolt of what she assumed was fire coursing through every single cell of her body was almost too much. Almost not enough, she had no idea how it happened but she was suddenly being pulled from the car into the arms of Paul, he held her and she melted into him and suddenly she was sobbing. Home... she had never felt so at home in her life, so whole and so loved, how though? She wanted to question how he knew but instead she just let him hold her, she cried until she couldn't anymore. When she had finally fallen asleep he carefully placed her back into her seat and drove back to Charlie's, he had been hoping so hard that she would come back and now she was here and he was sure he wasn't going to be able to let her go. Maybe it was strange to her, all these feelings she had so suddenly developed for him but for him it was so natural, like everything else he had just adapted, he didn't ever question why her, she was meant for him and he accepted that knowledge easily and happily, no doubt about it. Paul sighed, he had been restless as soon as she left, although he'd been able to keep a distance and give her space at the beginning he wasn't so sure that was an option anymore, he was content for now his heart and mind had been afraid she would reject him but now he felt whole, as though she had accepted him, he could feel she had. Paul drove, he would peak over at her every now and then, she seemed relaxed, he was relieved she knew, he would have to give Edward shit later for springing it on her so suddenly, then again he had been able to read her thoughts so he must have known what she had suspected anyway. What mattered now was that she knew, he could deal with everything as it came.


	3. Chapter 3

**3\. Home**

Charlie watched out the front window, anxiously awaiting his daughters arrival. He didn't want to believe it until he could see her for himself, it had been rough missing out on all the milestones in her life, he had fallen into depression and what he believed was pretty much a meaningless existence between phone calls from Renee's parents and the packages they had been kind enough to send him. Bella's school photos, copies of her report cards the projects they were most proud of. It had been hard for him but he knew as long as Bella was with them, she was okay and he would never risk them losing her so he continued to send them support and whatever they felt Bella needed, Renee had been cruel and spiteful the moment he began to spoil their daughter, when he no longer played her games and gave her the attention she desired, she was packed up and out the door with her. It had been difficult to track her and when he finally had, she would up and disappear again, he never stopped looking though, it was a relief when he received that first call from Bella's grandmother, she was okay. Charlie could breathe again.

Paul's black SUV pulled up and Charlie's heart sped up, Paul hopped out and quickly glided around to the passenger side, he could see her feet hit the ground but she was too small to see behind the door. Waving at Charlie Paul helped Bella with her bags and the sight of his daughter finally coming home for good was it, Charlie sniffled, he had never been so happy. Bella had stumbled slightly and Paul stood near enough to make sure she didn't cause any major damage, like some sort of bodyguard, there were still a lot of unanswered questions about this Imprinting thing where he was concerned but there were only two other imprinted couples so it wasn't likely they would know much other than it solidified a bond between a wolf and their mate.

He had been in on the secrets of the supernatural when he'd come across a 17 year old Jacob Blacks naked and unconscious body on the side of the road one evening 6 years ago. It was like a scene straight out of a horror movie, Charlie approached him cautiously. Jacob had awoken and shivered and split himself into a giant wolf, it was a good thing Charlie had still been in a decent state of health, he may have ended up having a heart attack. The pack and a council made up of Elder's, Chief's, Matriarchs and family members of the pack made Charlie promise to keep their secret and he had, it had made a lot of things easier with the knowledge of shapeshifters and then vampires. It also made it easier to support his best friends when their own children began to show signs of phasing as they called it. Now his daughter was connected to this world and it brought him a great sense of comfort, there was no way any of them would let anything happen to her, he knew that.

Bella had bolted into the house as quickly as her feet would take her, Charlie had been waiting with open arms and the biggest smile she'd ever seen, she felt it again, home. He held her with as much strength as he could and she did the same. "You're really staying?" he asked her, Bella nodded as she looked her father in the eyes, he looked so happy and content "Yes, I'd like to stay if that's okay with you." Charlie hugged her again. "It's all I've ever wanted Bella." Paul brought Bella's bags in and then went to wait outside, the moment was clearly a private one.

Charlie was frustrated at how frail and weak he was becoming, he could barely stand for five minutes at a time without collapsing, Bella helped him back over to the sofa. "How was your ride in kiddo?" She blushed, Charlie thankfully hadn't seen it. "It was..." Bella searched for the right word. "Interesting." Shaking her head at the memory of being trapped in a car with two beings who shouldn't even exist, she smiled at her father. Charlie laughed, it was such a wonderful sound, one that reminded her of a simpler time far back in her childhood. "I take it Paul told you about his uh..." Charlie's eyebrows rose up dramatically. "Abilities." She nodded, trying not to blush at the memory of Paul undressing and then exploding into a giant wolf. "Yea and this guy Edward hitched a ride back with us too." Charlie frowned before realization dawned on him. "Edward Cullen?" She nodded. "He was my seatmate on the plane last time too, seems like a nice guy, very charming." Charlie seemed amused. "They are all quite charming, those Cullen's one of the nicest families in Forks if you ask me. I'm sure Edward will be by to visit at some point while you're here, he and his family like to pop in to check up on us from time to time. Then there's Carlisle he's one of my doctor's he will probably be by soon." Bella wondered what that must be like, being a doctor and a vampire, did he ever get tempted to just reach over and bite someone or had living off animal blood turned them off human blood permanently. Charlie seemed to get tired pretty quickly, he sighed as she helped him onto the bed. "The doctor's told me I had a year, I don't know if I'm gonna make it past a couple weeks." He grabbed Bella by her arms. "The pain is constant now and I don't want you to be in the dark about this, I am weak and frail and quite frankly a pathetic mess of a man right now." Bella could feel the tears pricking at her eyes. "It's going to get worse, there is no getting better for me as much..." He stopped to wipe the tears that were now spilling out. " As much as I wish I could just fix it and be here for you for the rest of your life, I think we both know this is it." Bella did her best not to let out the sobs she could feel coming, she knew this was serious and he was only telling her because he loved her and wanted her to understand. There were no words she could think of to say after that, Bella just hugged him. "I'm glad I'm here now." She could feel Charlie nod into her hair.

Paul had been waiting outside, he knew he shouldn't be eavesdropping but hearing them had gutted him. This, imprint bond was crazy and he could feel everything, it was overwhelming. Charlie had been a part of his life since he was just a runt, he was the cop that showed up and took his mom and him to the hospital when he was nine, after his dad had very nearly beaten his pregnant mother to death. He stuck around to make sure she and the baby were going to be okay, his baby sister got her nickname from him. He took Paul to the store for a slurpee and anything he wanted. After making some phone calls, Charlie brought Paul over to Jared's house where he stayed until his mom and sister were out of the hospital. Charlie would always pop in to check on them after that, Paul was pretty sure that's why his dad didn't try to bully his mom into taking him back again. All these years later and his mom still made sure she sent him a card for every holiday and Paul and his sister's school pictures, she invited him and Sue over for Thanksgiving every year too. Charlie was always a part of his life from as far back as he liked to remember, it was hard to imagine not having him around.

His thoughts were quickly interrupted as a small white energy efficient sedan pulled up to the house. A tall pale figure emerged with a blinding smile. Paul couldn't help but smile back, Carlisle Cullen walked toward him friendly as ever. "Paul, good to see you son." It should have been weird to have this guy call him son, they looked about the same age but Carlisle had always seemed like an elder and most people addressed him as such. "Doc." Paul greeted him with a handshake, his mother had taught him manners after all. Carlisle looked at him seriously. "How's the Chief doing today?" Paul sighed heavily, shaking his head. "He seems more tired, shallow breathing pretty much any time he has to move himself. He's in there talking to his daughter about how he knows his end is coming soon." Carlisle thought if he could cry, he would be tearing up. He and Charlie had gotten to know each other over the years, he didn't think Charlie regarded him as a friend but he thought fondly of the man, he had never been afraid of who he and his family really were. Of course he would rib Emmett and Jasper whenever he pulled them over or ran into them while they were out hunting and invited them over for dinners until he realized they didn't eat actual food, then he just invited them over for company, he had always made them feel welcome.

The two men waited quietly on the stairs of the front porch, making small talk."I can't believe you're still diving that thing around. Isn't Alice on her fourth car this year?" Carlisle chuckled shaking his head. "Alice will be Alice, she thinks because she sells the cars for a third of the price that she's being charitable and by avoiding the ones over a mil she's not being too flashy." He looked over to his car then back to Paul "It's good on gas and better for the environment, if I'm going to be around an eternity I figure I should at least do my part to help, I also recycle and encourage my family to reuse, can't win them all over I suppose but can't say I didn't try." Paul nodded, that was rather thoughtful of the doctor, then he frowned at his beast of an SUV. Carlisle gently placed a hand on his shoulder before looking at him seriously. "Paul, we both know that you boys couldn't fold yourself to fit in these cars if you tried." Paul laughed out loud and Carlisle joined in, it wasn't long after that that Bella poked her head out the door.

The men straightened themselves out, Carlisle looked to Paul for what he assumed was an introduction. "Sorry Bella." Paul looked shamefaced, he felt bad for disrupting her and Charlie. Bella seemed to understand, she looked between the two men and smiled. "It's alright, he's just...tired." Carlisle extended his hand, Bella's heart picked up as she assessed him but she collected herself quickly and shook his hand. "I'm Carlisle Cullen, I am one of the doctors here in town." It must clicked for her then as she blinked quickly. "Dr. Cullen." Paul grinned at her, she was handling herself pretty well. "So you're Edward's..." She couldn't even imagine how they were related because they looked nothing alike. Then she understood, they weren't actually related.

Carlisle smiled that megawatt smile at her and she flinched, making Paul chuckle. "Edward is my..." He looked thoughtful for a moment "Family." She smiled understanding. "My dad was just telling me a bit about your family, come in. " She said easily and welcomed him into her father's home. "Carlisle!" Charlie did his best to sit himself up to greet the doctor. Carlisle smiled as he seemed to float over to his bedside to assist him. "It's wonderful to see you sitting up on your own." he told Charlie. "Bella, could you and Paul just duck out while the doc examines me." She blinked as he began to unbutton his flannel shirt, his collar bones were jutting out and if Paul hadn't grabbed her hand she was sure she would have stood there stupidly, making her poor father uncomfortable as she assessed his frail body.

They moved into the kitchen out of the way but still close enough that Bella could hear as Paul figured she wouldn't want to be any further than ear shot at this point. Paul could see she was doing her best to ignore the sounds of discomfort Charlie made while he was being poked and prodded by Dr. Cullen. "Sue should be home from work soon." He looked up at the clock on the wall and then back to his phone. Bella nodded but remained quiet. He felt pretty useless being there, but his instinct was to stay put, she needed him. Perhaps she didn't realize she needed him but he could feel that she did so he stayed. "I could warm you up some leftovers if you're hungry." He tried. She seemed to snap out of a daze. "Sorry, it's just...a lot to take in." She reached over and placed her hand atop his. "I'm glad you're here though." If he was in wolf form he would have been wagging his tail, she'd just acted on her instincts but his heart nearly jumped out of his chest with the simplest contact. Carlisle popped his head into the kitchen. "All done." He said, he looked uncomfortable though."Charlie said he talked to you earlier, that you would understand what I am confirming with him now. His organs are beginning to shut down, all we can do is give him something to help with the pain for now but that will also need to be increased as the pain gets worse." Bella blinked, she seemed to be thinking something over as the two men waited for her to absorb everything.

"I know he doesn't have much time but maybe.."She flailed her arms, trying to make sense of her thoughts."You've been around for a long time Dr. Cullen, is there nothing else you could try?"Bella was pleading with him. Paul frowned, what could she possibly mean. "I'm sorry Bella, Charlie has already stated he wanted no medical intervention." She shook her head, Paul and Carlisle could see and hear the desperation. "That's not what I meant." Paul stood slowly. "Bella I hope you're not thinking about asking this man what I think you're asking." He began to shake despite himself. Bella looked at both the men and began to sob uncontrollably. "He can't just die!" Paul scooped her up into his arms. "I'm so sorry Bella, I wish there was something I could do for your father..." Carlisle said sadly, he and Paul shared a look of concern before he exited the kitchen. Paul thought about what she had asked, it was clear. He sat her down on the counter. "Bella I need you to look at me." She did, her eyes were red and puffy now, he couldn't help but reach up and move the hair that had become stuck to her tear stained face. "I know you want more time with him, I get that but you don't understand what you would be asking of Carlisle." She met his eyes, determined. "I know exactly what I'm asking, I have thought this through and it's you who doesn't understand!" she had shouted the last part and then jumped down off the counter angry now. Paul hadn't lost his temper in a very long time, he did his best to keep his emotions in check, he never wanted to be like his father but he could admit he was struggling at that moment. Bella was hurting he could feel it, she was scared and being irrational it was a completely natural response. "Okay!" He shouted to get her attention, she stopped pacing the kitchen to look at him. "Okay...So we'll ask them to change him..." He could hear her heart speed up. "There's a chance it wouldn't work." She wrapped her arms around herself. "But what if it did." She had said it so quietly, he wouldn't have heard her without his heightened senses, he looked at her sadly, she had no intention of ever following through he could sense the doubt and the fear. "It could." He told her. "He wouldn't be Charlie anymore though." Bella began to cry again, silently. "It would change everything Bella." He moved closer to her. "The Cullen's would have to leave with Charlie." She shook her head sadly, seemingly searching for a solution she knew wasn't possible, imagining a world where her father could continue to exist amongst mythical creatures. "I know it's crazy Paul, I just want more time." He moved so he was in front of her again. "I know."

Sue returned home, Bella was fussing and hovering over her sleeping father. Paul was sitting in the kitchen, he informed her of the bottles of painkillers Dr. Cullen had left for Charlile. He contemplated telling Sue about what Bella was thinking, however he understood it wasn't something he needed to share with anyone. He hung around until Charlie woke up again. His mom had been blowing up his phone for the last hour, she probably needed him to pick up his sister. Paul's head felt like a mess, this whole day had taken its toll on him. Christ he was only 20 this was some shit he wasn't ready to deal with yet. Bella hadn't looked at him again after what happened in the kitchen, he left his number with her and let her know if she needed anything she could call or text. The further he drove away from her the more his chest began to ache.

The drive was quiet and he couldn't stand it, he blasted the loudest shittiest station he could find on the radio in hopes of clearing his head. His phone buzzed...again. Without looking he answered, trying not to let his irritation come through. "Yea, Ma?" There was pause then a woman's laugh on the other end, Bella. "Ma?" She asked her voice teasing. Paul pulled over so he could actually concentrate. "Sorry I thought..."He wasn't actually thinking, he chuckled. "My mom's the only one who usually calls me." He closed his eyes and dropped his head back into the seat. So completely caught off guard. She collected herself, and was silent for a few beats. "I wanted to apologize about earlier, that wasn't..." She let out a long sigh. "I would never ask Dr. Cullen or any of the Cullen's to do that and I know it upset you." He breathed into the phone. "It did and it shouldn't have." He told her honestly. "If that was something Charlie agreed to, it wouldn't be my place to take away his choice." Paul knew though, no one would choose to be what they are. None of them made that choice, he wouldn't tell her that though. "Bella, I know we don't know each other very well but I am here if you ever just need to talk." she was quiet for a moment that seemed to drag on for far too long."Thank you Paul, I just never imagined this would be all I could have of him...it hurts." He could feel that tugging sensation. "I have a few errands to run for my mom and I'll come back there...Bella I know you're hurting and I wish there was something I could say to make it better, sit with Charlie until I get there." A small part of her wanted to say it was okay, he didn't need to come but a much larger part, one that resided in her chest tugged painfully, achingly wanting and needing him. "Thank you, I'll see you soon." Paul felt less anxious the rest of the drive.

Bella got off the phone, She had gone up to her room to clean herself up and change into sweats after Paul left, now that she knew he was coming back she wanted to change. It was ridiculous, he'd already seen her snotty, puffy, red and bawling her eyes out, he'd seen her losing her mind. A pair of sweats would be fine. There was a soft knock on her door. "Bella?" Sue called from the other side, Bella got up to let her in. The older woman studied her for a moment. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay...Charlie said you and Paul got into it earlier." Bella's mouth fell open, she didn't even consider whether Charlie had heard them."I..." She wasn't sure what to say. "I was just upset and Paul was trying to calm me down, I shouted at him." She put her hand over her mouth, she couldn't believe she had done that, he definitely didn't deserve that. Sue looked at her thoughtfully. "Don't be so hard on yourself, I'm sure Paul understands how stressful this has been on you." Bella nodded. "He said he did, I called him to apologize." She couldn't hide the smile that broke out. Sue hugged her. "It's going to be hard, I am glad you have him." Sue turned to leave the room. "Seth ordered a few pizza's, come join us when you're ready."

Charlie was resting when Paul returned, everyone was in the kitchen he was thankful because it was becoming tougher on his senses to be in such close proximity to...death, no wonder Leah spent so much time at their house on the rez. He was taught that animals and children were the most in tune with the supernatural, they could sense death, turning into a giant wolf had made him all too aware and right now he wished he could just switch if off. For now he could at least pretend to deal, Bella waved him over to sit beside her. He couldn't help how happy it made him, he was simple and was thankful because he knew just how complicated things could be, how they could still be. He needed to enjoy the moments like this, they ate in comfortable silence before Paul could hear Charlie's breathing change, his heart rate picked up, too quickly and then he began screaming. Seth grabbed the medication and ran into the front room with Sue right behind him. Bella sat there staring down at her pizza, Paul could see the defeat. "It's really the end isn't it?" She looked up at Paul then, there was no denying what she could see and hear, he let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "Yes." It wouldn't be long now.

_**AN: Things are indeed going to get worse before they get better. I do appreciate feedback and am going to do my best to keep this fic under 10 chapters, thanks for reading. **_


	4. Chapter 4

**4\. The Other Side.**

The pain was unbearable, Charlie squeezed his eyes shut and held onto the bed rails doing his best not to scream again. Bella had fallen asleep on the sofa after Paul went home. Sue was in the kitchen, she did her best to keep it together but he knew how hard this was on her. Panting and sweating Charlie could no longer control himself, he was screaming as his body writhed and contorted, Bella and Sue were at his side in no time. Seth had come from somewhere to hold him still while Sue stuck him with a needle. It took some time for the meds to kick in. His body was tired, he was tired and he could see his family was tired Charlie prayed for God to end all of their suffering. His thoughts were becoming jumbled and Dr. Cullen had explained to him that it would happen, the amount of drugs he'd been given would make him hallucinate, he knew that must have been what was happening now when he looked over and saw his best friend Harry standing in the corner. it couldn't have been real because Harry had been dead ten years. Charlie smiled as the pain dulled, Harry watched him with a sad smile on his face. "It's almost time." He could hear him saying. Charlie sighed, he felt relief wash over him, it would be over soon.

Bella held her father's hand, he remained conscious but he kept talking about Harry waiting. Sue and Seth shared a look that made Bella wonder what they weren't sharing with her. Maybe he was just really drugged up but she considered the other possibilities. Why couldn't there be something greater, something beyond their human existence. "I hope Harry's got a boat all geared up and waiting dad..." She said as she wiped the sweat off his brow. Sue and Seth looked over to her, both smiling. "He's probably got the biggest fishing boat he could find on the other side. It's probably got the downriggers you old men like to use." Seth chuckled, he wiped at the tears he could feel coming. "You tell Harry we say hi, we miss him." Sue said grabbing his hand. "Love you Charlie." Bella could hear the finality of their words. Charlie smiled, he looked so peaceful, she grabbed his hand again and squeezed gently. "I love you dad." She could feel him squeeze back with the little strength he had left.

Eventually Charlie closed his eyes. He could hear them still, his family. "Our family." Harry corrected him. Seth cried quietly as Sue prayed, he could understand the words which used to be so foreign to him. "We all speak the same language now." Harry commented. Charlie felt strangely afraid, he had never feared much in his life but now...he wanted to look back but there would be nothing to see, nothing but darkness. It was as though he was floating in the ocean but he was no longer him, just his thoughts...and Harry's familiar voice. Charlie listened for them again. "They'll look after eachother." Harry told him, he sounded so confident in that statement. He imagined there would be a light, or a tunnel or something, Harry laughed. "Not yet." Bella, he could hear her hushed "I love you's." over and over. The urge to comfort her was overwhelming. "They've got her." Harry said quietly, the voices of their family faded and that faint drum beat he could hear in the distance had gotten louder and faster until it stopped. "Your heart." Harry told him. A sadness washed over him, he would never see them again. "You will." Harry promised him.

Bella watched her father take his last breath, he looked so calm and peaceful those last few hours, she took comfort in believing that his best friend had been there waiting for him. Sue told her, they all had a loved one who came back to escort them to the other side, it was a beautiful thought, Charlie and Harry healthy and happy traveling back on their boat to be reunited with the rest of their loved ones. Maybe it wasn't going to be so bad, she told herself when the tears hadn't come. Paul hadn't been back since she asked him to give her some time to process it, as much as she felt like she needed him there she forced herself to handle it without him. Bella helped Sue trim Charlie's mustache and comb his hair, they washed him, pulled out his favourite flannel pyjamas and slippers and dressed him. There were people she had never met who came to pack his body out. Then more people, women Sue had introduced to her as Aunties. They collected his belongings, not too many just his favourite clothes, hats, blankets, things he valued and would miss. "We burn them so he can have them when he gets to the otherside." Sue had told her. "Or we smoke them over a fire so we can keep them for ourselves if we want something to remember him by." Bella quietly observed, this was not something she was accustomed to but she knew Charlie was so she did her best to learn. Paul called to check in on her, she could hear the worry in his voice as she did her best to reassure him that she was okay...she was okay. The night was restless, her father's house was quiet and she could hear Sue cleaning, she wanted to ask if she needed help but it seemed like she was just trying to keep her mind off what Bella was currently trying not to think about. He was gone.

There were a lot of busy bodies when they went over to the Clearwater house on the Rez the next day Bella felt like she should be doing more to help, when she tried Leah stopped her. "Let everyone take care of it Bella, when they lose someone it will be our turn to help them." Bella accepted this, she didn't have much of a choice. When she felt like she couldn't keep her body still, her legs were so restless and deep beneath the surface she was sure she was going to fall apart any moment and she didn't want this many witnesses so she told Leah she would be back and went for a walk.

She hadn't been to La Push since she was little, she had no idea where she was going but she stopped outside a small auto body shop, the tugging sensation she had been feeling since Paul left the house a couple nights before had finally stopped. She stared up at the sign that read R&R Auto. Paul must have felt it too cause he poked his head out, she could feel a wave of emotions sweep over her as she approached him. Like every feeling she had ever felt had been pulled out of her looking into his eyes. Bella sobbed as he lifted her into his arms, carrying her easily back inside, he found a seat and carefully sat down while he continued to comb his fingers through her hair doing his best to soothe and comfort her.

When Bella did stop crying and she looked around them, they were sitting on what looked like a bench from an old car, there were a couple cars hiked up on what she wasn't sure. Paul had told her he was at work if she needed him. It didn't occur to her that she didn't even ask what his job was. "You're a mechanic?" She asked. He chuckled. "Well working toward being certified, right now I'm doing my apprenticeship here in Jake's shop." There was a lot they didn't know about each other yet, it wasn't exactly like she didn't want to get to know him but since getting back only days before she'd been pretty focused on her father. Paul seemed to understand. "We will have time to get to know each other later." He told her, she knew that.. Right now she was content being held in his arms. "I'm sorry I told you not to come to the house." Bella said, she had been wandering around empty and lost. Paul tilted her face up so she was looking in his eyes again. "I'll always give you your space Bella, I can feel when you need me, its hard to not want to follow my instincts but I know that you're a tough girl." He smiled at her. "Plus you have your family, Sue's a good mom and as big of a pain in the ass Seth can be, he's a good kid and he loves you, so does Leah. You've got a great family, for that I'm grateful." Bella sniffled, she wasn't sure they would still feel that way now that Charlie was gone and she'd been holding it in. "What if they...don't want to be my family." Bella knew she sounded like a child, she could hear how pathetic she sounded. Paul hugged her tightly. "Bella..." He wasn't sure what he could say to make her understand, it was clear that she was afraid of losing them. "You are my imprint, you are pack." He grabbed her hands. "Even if you weren't, you would always have a family here. Charlie was a part of our community, a part of Forks community, he became a lot of people's family, by extension you are now a part of a lot of families." Bella smiled at him through tears, he continue. "Sue invited my mother and I over after you left to pack up your things...she gave my mom the rundown on imprinting and welcomed us into _your_ family." She blinked back tears. "She pulled me aside as we were leaving, away from Charlie, away from my mom and told me if I ever hurt you she would find a way to break my legs off and beat me with them."He laughed. "She loves you Bella, she's loved you since you were Charlie's little girl and now she loves you like her own." Bella managed to pull herself together and hug Paul, he had said all the right things. "Thank you." She said, they were quiet for a few moments until Paul spoke again. "You know Bella, you're my family now too. " He told her, so honestly with a confidence that made her stomach flip and her heart skip a beat, things she knew he could probably hear. Bella smiled trying to hide the blush she could feel creeping up. "I am." She finally said feeling the certainty of those words. Paul cleaned up and let Jacob know he was closing up shop for now, they wandered around until her legs got tired.

There was a comfort service that evening at the church, there was prayer and songs, people shared their condolences and then shared stories about her father. Sue had stood from her chair to share about the two loves of her lives. "When Harry died, I felt like my world was over he was my highschool sweetheart, the father of my children, my everything. I wouldn't eat, I couldn't sleep and I wanted the world to swallow me up and take the pain away." Sue glanced around as she spoke. "Charlie Swan had been Harry's best friend his whole life, he was a very dear friend to my family, he came to check on the kids and I a few days after Harry's funeral and found me..."She took a deep breath but continued on as Leah and Seth got up to stand with her, Paul tugged on Bella's hand gently and led her to stand with them. "I was a mess and he stepped in to help me with the kids. He loved us because we were a part of Harry, he had always been a part of our lives..." Seth handed his mom a tissue and she continued. "I knew our love for eachother had changed one day when he brought Seth and Leah to a baseball game, my heart skipped a beat to see my children so happy again and to see this man genuinely happy to be a part of it, we loved him and he loved us." Sue paused to look at Bella. "He spoke about how one day his Bella would make our family complete." Bella could feel the stinging behind her eyes. Sue spoke softly then. "He finally got it and knew it was okay to let go... He gave us his everything when he was missing the biggest part of himself. That was Charlie though. A true warrior, he continued to get up and fight after being knocked down over and over and he did it without forgetting who he was, he didn't hold grudges or stay angry, he loved beyond what should have been possible, that is the man we need to remember, the man we need to celebrate." Bella did her best to stay composed but the tears fell anyway, Sue hugged her and grabbed her hand and didn't let her go again for the rest of the service. Bella was exhausted, she didn't think she could do it again but she knew it wasn't over yet, she crashed on the couch of the Clearwater house. Paul woke her up early enough the next morning to take her back to get her dress and shoes.

Bella was busy looking for her black flats in her boxes, she was sure she packed them. Her bedroom had quickly been turned upside down in an effort to find two stupid shoes that she hated. Flipping up clothes which were now everywhere, the frustration was bubbling. Paul had thankfully waited downstairs for her, he was there to rescue her after she burnt her toast and almost broke down when they first arrived. This was a simple task. "Come on Bella, pull it together its shoes. Two small black shoes. You did not pack that much stuff." She looked around the room, she never did have a lot of stuff after her grandparents died. Bella sighed ready to give up and wear her sneakers, she scanned the room again and saw something black sticking out of a box, she pulled at it and the box came undone. Loose paper and some photos that had been contained within it had scattered at her feet. Bella knelt down to pick up the shoe, there was a birthday card next to it. One she kept from when she was small, it was her box of Charlie-stuff, things she treasured from her father over the years, the only things she managed to keep hidden from her mother all those years. She carefully turned the card in her hands it was probably 14 years old now and the colours had faded but she could still see the image of a bumblebee on the front, it used to be covered in pink glitter, she remembered putting it in her hair when she was small. 'Happy 5th Birthday to a bee-u-tiful girl.' Bella opened it to find her father's chicken scratch note inside. 'Happy birthday baby girl. I love you and hope we can visit soon. Take care of yourself, love you always. Daddy.' She carefully shut it and blinked picking up the pictures and papers, they were too important to leave on the floor. Bella picked up her clothes and put them on the chair, determined to find the other shoe. She looked under her bed for the third time and found it. She frowned before putting her shoes on and going to the mirror to fix her hair. She found a headband and brushed her hair as she looked at the dark circles under her eyes something caught her attention in the reflection. It was only a moment but she swore Charlie was watching her from the edge of her bed. She turned around blinking quickly her heart stuttered and she wasn't sure what to do. "Paul." she barely breathed out as she held her chest her knees felt weak. He was up the stairs and in her room just in time to catch her. "Breathe Bella." He chanted as he stroked her back. She took several deep breaths. "He was in here." She said in a whisper." Paul looked at her, she could see that he was worried now. "Who was in here?" He asked cautiously, he couldn't pick up any new scents as he scanned the room. "My dad." Paul blinked, he wasn't sure what to say. It was something that happened when people lost a loved one, there were always stories of them being spotted before burial. He nodded. "It probably was." He said, trying not to freak her out. "Spirits wander our world until they're put to rest." Bella breathed out, she didn't seem as frightened. Paul helped her up and looked around the room. "I have it from here Chief." He said, Bella looked up at him, she wanted to thank him for not thinking she was crazy, instead she grabbed his hand and walked with him to say her final goodbye to her father.

They had to move the funeral over to a bigger space because of how quickly the small church filled up. Bella's legs shook as she approached her father's open casket, Seth held her hand and Paul stood close enough if she needed him. He had been dressed in his uniform, she smoothed his collar and stroked a finger on his cold cheek. Seth pulled out something from his coat pocket, it looked like a baseball card. He smiled over at Bella. "He gave it to me when I started watching games with him." He placed the card in Charlie's hand. "My first one, a limited edition, my most valuable possession and I want you to have it back." He patted Charlie's shoulder. Bella hugged him, he seemed so young in that moment, Seth had lost two dads and it just made her want to protect him from the world, even if he was this powerful shapeshifter, she vowed she would take care of him. The two of them stepped back, Bella couldn't bring herself to say anything. They took their seats beside Sue and Leah, Paul sat a row behind with the pack.

Rachel and Rebecca Black got up to read Charlie's Eulogy, they sniffled and sobbed their way through words and Bella tried to stay focused on the moment, not the many children who grew up knowing her father as an uncle or mentor. It made her jealous and angry with him, she couldn't understand why, he was just making the best of his situation. Bella battled with herself as she stared at his body. _Why didn't you just take Renee to court?_! Surely any judge would have looked at what a nut job she was and given him custody. Why didn't he come see her when she stayed with her grandparents? Renee wasn't in the picture then, he could have swooped in to grab her or even asked them to send her! Instead, she thought spitefully,_ instead you gave up on me_. _You let her win!_ Bella blinked, she could feel her breaths coming more quickly. A minister was up and speaking and reading scripture as she could feel herself breaking down. Breathe Bella, Breathe, she continued to tell herself, she had to get through the rest of this, she could cry when she got home. It was when Jacob and Sam stood and began removing the wreath's, flowers and pictures from around and atop the casket, preparing to shut it that she could no longer hold back. "Noo." She howled, her legs carried her toward her father. "Please don't leave me daddy!" she had her hands on the now closed lid and Paul was at her side quickly, he contemplated picking her up and taking her outside, Leah and Sue shook their heads. "I just got you back. Please." Leah walked over and hugged her. "No, no, no. Come back." She didn't tell her to stop, she simply held her and let her cry. Jacob and Sam looked over to Sue unsure of how to proceed, she nodded stiffly for them to continue readying the casket to be taken out. Paul eventually got Bella back to her seat, she was hunched over sobbing, he didn't want to leave her but he had to. Seth was knelt down in front of Bella, doing his best to comfort her as he fought back his own sobs, Sue and Leah rubbed her back.

The pack excluding Seth and Leah were Paul bearers. Bella wailed as the body left the building, everyone got up to follow. After her sobs died down a bit Leah looked over to Seth. "Pick her up but don't make it look too easy." She told him, there were a lot of unfamiliar faces and she didn't want anyone to get suspicious. Seth grunted as he picked her up. Bella's body felt limp, she honestly could barely hold her head up, it taken so much out of her. "We are going to the cemetery now..." Leah looked at her. she didn't bother to ask her if she wanted water, she tilted her head back and poured a little in until Bella grabbed the bottle for herself and gulped what she could. "Sorry." Bella finally managed to say as Seth put her down, her voice was hoarse. Leah frowned at her. "You have nothing to be sorry for, you are grieving." She grabbed Bella's shoulders. "You're allowed to be sad,mad and hell even happy. No one can tell you how to grieve." Bella hugged her. "Thank you. I love you guys." Seth and Leah smiled at each other before looking at her. "Love you too." They said in unison, Bella smiled weakly. "Okay lets do this." She said as she took a deep breath.

Sue held her as her father's casket was lowered, she didn't hold back the tears, she was going to miss him so much. They were the last two to leave the gravesite. "He's home now." Sue said, she looked relieved. "He will never be in pain again Bella, he is surrounded by all those he's loved and lost before him." Bella hugged her. "Do you think he'll visit?" She asked Sue, thinking about her earlier encounter. Sue looked thoughtful for a moment. "Maybe in dreams, after burial there aren't too many reasons to come back." Bella nodded, that would be okay. "We burn food for them, all their favourites. Charlie's going to be happy to see his favourite fried fish waiting." Sue smiled. "Why's it called the other side?" Bella had been wondering. "Some say heaven, some say paradise, we say the other side, or across as in, across the waters, it's the otherside of here." Sue laughed. "I realize how simple that makes it sounds." Bella shook her head. "No, I like it, doesn't seem so far away when you put it like that." Sue threw an arm around her leading her out of the cemetery where Paul, Leah and Seth were waiting, as empty as she felt without her father Bella was comforted being surrounded by the family she had quickly come to love.

**AN: I had a hard time writing this one out...we knew it was coming and I tried to prolong it and even sidestep it but I ended up with this chapter. Please let me know your thoughts. Just another quick note, many of the customs I've written about are ones that I follow in my own culture, I am indigenous, first nations from a small Reservation on the north west coast of british columbia, when we lose a member of our community we do make sure the family is taken care of while in mourning, I am positive this is something many cultures do but it is important for many First Nations people so I'm making the assumption and hoping not to step on too many toes with this cultural projection I've added. Thank you for reading.**

**Oh and I am starting back to work so I'm hoping to finish this fic up within the next two weekends or even sooner. I always try to stay a chapter or two ahead, currently I'm behind but I'm working on it and I will do my best not to forget about it!**


	5. Chapter 5

**5\. Waves.**

It was a week after her dads funeral and Bella was barely holding herself together, she wondered when it would stop hurting. Sue was back at work, Seth was back to school and she was hanging on by a thread. Paul worked and came by to see her usually in the evenings when he was done, he called her to check in, she lied when he asked if she was okay, she knew he could feel it though. Her heart ached all day, everyday. Bella was curled up in her room with the lights off when Leah walked in. "Mom called me, she's worried about you." Bella closed her eyes. "Listen I know this is hard." Leah moved toward her cautiously. "I know it hurts. Nothing or no one will ever be able to patch up that hole in your heart. " She sat down on the bed. "We need you to eat, drink some water and you can come back and lay down again. Please just eat something, I can make you a sandwich." Leah was pleading with her now, Bella sat herself up, she felt like shit and probably looked and smelled like it too. "Okay." She finally said. Leah sighed as she looked her over. "It won't always feel like this Bells." Bella nodded, she wanted to believe that, she needed to believe that. "I just don't want to feel any of it anymore." Leah grabbed her hand. "I know." She replied sadly.

Bella managed to eat half a sandwich but she couldn't stomach anything else. Leah sat across the table from her, watching. "Maybe you can come stay with me on the Rez for a bit." She finally said. Bella looked up at her. "It's might help if you got a little break from ..." She looked around. "Well all of this." Bella smiled weakly at her. "You don't have to..." she tried, before nodding. "Yea I'd like that." Leah smiled. "Good, I'll let mom know." Bella was thankful to have Leah, she understood and gave her room to work through it, although Bella knew she could be doing better she also knew it could be a lot worse.

The Clearwater house had quickly become one of Bella's favourite places to be, she felt like she could breathe a little better there. Paul was grateful to have her a bit closer, unfortunately he didn't have a lot of time outside of work, he helped his mom with the bills and with his little sister, he was honestly spread thin but that was just life. Leah was glad to see Bella up, showered and looking a little more herself after only a few days, she understood just how much energy it took to pull yourself out of bed when you just wanted to sleep away the pain, she was proud of her. "I applied at the mini mart." Bella told her as she grabbed some bread to make herself toast. Leah looked at her a little stunned. "What, really?" Bella shrugged. "Yea I mean I can't live off you guys forever." Leah chuckled shaking her head. "You're not living off of us Bells, you're family we take care of each other." Bella smiled. "I know that but I should be able to help take care of you too, can't afford to do that just moping around." Leah looked at her thoughtfully then. "Well if you really want to work, Jake is looking for someone to help with the admin and payroll stuff for the shop." Bella would be lying if she said the idea of being that close to Paul wasn't tempting, she wasn't sure though that she wanted to intrude like that. "I don't know Leah, I mean Paul is there..." Leah frowned at her. "Yes Paul works there, I thought would be a nice work perk for you." Bella laughed, she honestly couldn't think of a reason she shouldn't apply, she sighed. "I mean...I don't have much experience with payroll." Leah rolled her eyes. "If Rebecca could do it, I'm sure it's not that hard." Bella didn't know Rebecca well enough to know how true that was, Leah continued. "There are only three of them in the shop at the moment, this would be a good opportunity for you to put that college knowledge to use." Bella had done well her first semester but she was focusing more on art and literature than anything else. "I guess I could apply...I mean there's a chance I won't even get hired." Leah gave her a look. "Jake is going to hire you because you're smart, hard working and the imprint of his best mechanic." Bella found it hard not to feel the pride swell at hearing Paul was the best. Leah laughed. "You imprints are something else." She pulled out her phone. "I'll let him know you're interested." Bella smiled, she was thankful to have Leah. "Thanks."

Paul was busy finishing up the brakes on a truck he'd been working on when Jake strolled over to him a huge shit eating grin on his face. "So I know I'm the best boss, alpha and friend ever but I just need you to remind me again how awesome I am Paul?" Paul raised an eyebrow. "What's going on Jake?" He didn't have the energy to go back and forth today. Jacob looked him over and must have given in on sheer pity. "Fine, so Bella is taking over for Becca tomorrow." His grin widened as Paul blinked dumbly. "Seriously?" His alpha nodded. "Yep, I just hope this won't fuck up your performance here." Paul shook his head still in a bit of shock. "Of course not." Paul promised, he wasn't entirely sure how he'd work with her being so close if he was being honest but he could feel that weight that had been sitting on his shoulders getting lighter. "I think it'll help you both to be near each other for more than a couple hours a day." He looked at Paul with all that inherited wisdom and knowledge. "I know it hasn't been easy for you Paul but I'm really proud of how you've been handling yourself." Paul nodded, thankful to have a friend like Jake. He had offered Paul time off to go be closer to Bella, he could feel that bond straining but she had shut him out after the funeral, of course he understood she was in a dark place but he felt helpless. He was supposed to be there for her and when he tried she simply shut herself down, he couldn't feel anything from her. It was like she'd shut the imprint off and it hurt, he knew she needed to get through her shit but it didn't stop the suffering on his end.

Bella was freaking out going through her clothes, she realized she didn't own anything that she wanted to wear. Leah had come to check on her after a few frustrated grunts. "What's going on Bella?" She finally asked. Bella sighed, she knew it had nothing to do with the clothes, she was extremely anxious to be starting this job, she talked to Paul but things were still...off. She felt bad for pushing him so far away and now she wasn't sure how to fix it. Then there was the actual job, she wasn't sure she could do it, what if she fucked everything up? Leah watched as Bella spun helplessly out of control. "It's going to be okay. Jacob will be on site most of the time, he will walk you through it as many times as you need..." She grabbed Bella's shoulders gently. "And Paul will just be happy to be able to see you more...he understands Bella, he might be going out of his mind a little but he does understand." Bella sighed, she knew Leah was right. "Thanks Lee." She dressed as simple and as comfortable as she could and Leah dropped her off. "Text me later and good luck!" She said before driving off.

Bella's heart was pounding as she walked through the door, Jacob was waiting for her and she looked around. "Good morning Bella." He greeted her with what she could only describe as a sunny smile "Morning." She said as she smiled back shyly at her new boss. "So, Paul, Jared and I do our thing out here." He gestured around the shop, she noticed that neither of the other two were around. "The office is usually locked but I have a copy of the keys for the main entrance and the office for you." He continued to talk as he opened the office door, she followed him. "Jared and Paul are off to tow a vehicle in, I'll go over the programs on the computer with you. I'm here to walk you through step by step until you're confident enough to work alone, okay?" His smile was contagious and reassuring, she nodded letting out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "Thanks again Jacob, I really appreciate the opportunity." Bella said as she sat down. He nodded. "Of course." He replied simply. Jacob was thankfully patient and also extremely easy going. They were inputting numbers and Jake was showing her where everything was when Jared came in to greet them. "Hey, good morning and welcome." He smiled easily at her before getting down to business. Paul walked into the shop a few minutes later her heart instantly picked up, she chose to ignore the laughs from the other shapeshifters present knowing they could hear it. Would it be appropriate to hug him? She fought the urge to run out of the office to greet him and she was having an internal battle about it when he easily strode into the office and kissed her on the forehead, she sighed feeling the relief wash over her. Jacob chuckled as he watched her blush. "I'll be right out here if you need me. " Paul told her, she nodded smiling and returned to work, Jake was glad she was eager to learn and she was quick, it wasn't long before she was on to the next task. The morning seemed to go by pretty quickly, she manned the phone and took messages, it was pretty basic stuff. Jake called her outside where he handed her the keys to a beast of a truck. "I know she's not pretty to look at but she'll get you around when you need to run errands or just get from point A to point B. Let's go for a drive." He hopped in the passenger seat, Bella was nervous she had only ever driven a tiny sedan and that was a while back, she hauled herself up as Jacob watched on, he seemed amused. "I'm sorry. " He said as he tried to contain himself. Bella struggled to adjust everything. Jake finally stopped giggling long enough to help her. When she was finally set up, she turned over to glare at him. Jacob straightened himself up before cracking up again. "I'm so glad I amuse you Jacob." She told him, to which he only laughed harder. Bella pulled out and he finally calmed down. "I am sorry, you're just so tiny and I don't mean to laugh but its just adorable." He told her, Bella rolled her eyes but smiled. "I'll have you know I'm just below average height." She told him. They drove around the Rez, Bella was at ease around Jacob, he felt so familiar to her, like they had always known each other, he chatted easily and joked more about her size, they picked up some take out for themselves as well as Paul and Jared and returned to the shop. It was comfortable...easy to be around them. Paul put his arm around her and she sighed again feeling content, she was positive she could do this day in and day out.

Leah and Bella went to Forks to join Sue and Seth for dinner that evening, Bella felt that heaviness come down her as they approached the house. Leah parked and reached for her hand. "We are here to celebrate your new job and mom wants to see with her own eyes that you're okay, lets just get through this for her okay?" Bella squeezed her hand she nodded, she could be strong for Sue. Taking a deep breath Bella steadied herself, they walked in and were both pulled into Sue's arms for a hug. Even if it had only been five days since she moved over to the Rez Bella realized the days before that she was basically a zombie. "Congratulations on the job my girl." Sue said as she pulled her in for another hug, Bella hugged her back not wanting to let her go. "Thank you."

They sat down together as a family, Seth told them about the girls who were fighting over him at Forks high making them all laugh. Leah walked them through her day working at the school on the Rez, she was a support staff working with 5 and 6 year old's, she made it sound so easy, Bella couldn't imagine being around children all day. Sue quietly watched her children laughing, she busied herself at her own job, worrying about how they were coping and having Bella gone from the house worried her. This girl had only come into their lives a little over a month ago and she had become so much a part of each of them, Sue wanted to give her the room she needed because losing a parent was hard, she knew that from losing her own parents and watching her children lose their father, it was difficult to not want to swoop in and protect her. They moved to the living room after dinner where Seth put on some teen wolf show he'd been getting into. They continued to laugh and make jokes, Sue imagined that Charlie would be happy knowing their children had continued to connect so easily. Leah had taken Bella in like a sister, she made sure she was taking care of herself, Sue smiled through the tears as she watched them.

Bella packed another bag to bring back to Leah's, she wasn't sure how long she was going to be there. Leah told her she was welcome to move in if that's what she wanted but she wasn't sure what she wanted. She missed being around Sue and Seth too but being back was really hard, she figured she would just give it some time and maybe come back after she got settled at her new job, then again she loved being so close to the beach...and Paul. It was easy being in La Push, she felt connected and grounded, safe and at home but as she looked around her room she sighed, she also felt that there with Sue. It left her feeling torn as she zipped up her back pack and looked around, she flipped the light off, she would figure it out she just needed some time.

The drive back to the Rez was quiet, Sue cried silently as she hugged them goodbye, Bella wiped her eyes as she remembered the sadness in her eyes. Leah finally spoke softly. "Mom is just happy you're okay." her voice cut into the dark silence, as well as Bella's thoughts. "She had a hard time letting me leave too but with a little time, lots of phone calls, texts and visits it got easier." Bella wasn't sure it was the same though, she couldn't be sure but she didn't think Sue thought of her the same as she did Leah, she sighed sadly. "Renee never cared about me until she needed money or my name for something." She felt the knot in her stomach tighten. "I got used to not having to worry about anyone else, its..." It was strange and wonderful as well as completely unnatural for her. "it shouldn't be this hard though." Bella wiped at her face a little angry. "I just wish I could be normal."They were quiet again until Leah sighed. "None of us are normal Bells, I mean I don't want to try one up you or anything but I turn into a fucking wolf..." Bella blinked and looked over at Leah, they both began laughing so hard that Leah had to pull over. Bella sat up and wiped the tears from her eyes. " I get it though, your mom was a bitch and she fucked your whole life up...you didn't deserve that shit." Leah finally said. "I didn't deserve it." Bella said as she sat up straighter, as if only realizing the truth in those words. "Fuck her." Leah said, a cackle erupted from Bella before she could stop herself. "Yea fuck her." Bella finally said, Leah pulled back onto the road and drove them home.

Bella felt better as soon as they reached the Rez, she could feel that ache in her chest easing up the closer she got to house. Paul was sitting on the front porch waiting for her. "Hey." He said as he helped her out of the car. Leah smirked at Bella. "Don't stay up too late you kids, Bell's can't be late for her second day of work." Paul grinned as he put an arm around Bella, she could feel the riot of butterflies in her stomach as well as the heat rush to her face. "Night Lee." Bella said, Leah smiled and waved as she went inside. "Want to come for a drive with me?" Paul asked, he seemed nervous. "Sure." They climbed into his SUV and she could feel the heat pouring off him, and he smelled amazing. These were all things she had noticed before, of course but something was different now. He looked over at her as he drove, she took a breath and reached for his hand. "I missed you." She told him honestly because she hadn't said it earlier that day when she saw him, Paul pulled over and they were stopped near the trail to the beach. He turned to look at her his smile was breathtaking. "I missed you too." There was so much love in his eyes, she wanted to crawl into his lap and just breathe him in. The intensity seemed to grow as they sat there quietly just absorbing the moment. Bella thought about how right it felt to be there with him and she moved slowly unbuckling herself she couldn't stop now, she needed him to understand something, something she barely understood herself. She adjusted herself easily in her seat she leaned over towards him, her hands trembled with anticipation, Bella kissed him. It started as a gentle brush, her lips met his and then she could no longer maintain that wall she had so carefully been building her whole life. Her heart raced in her chest as one of his arms wrapped around her waist and the other slid up her back where his hand found the base of her neck, he deepened the kiss and Bella could feel herself relax as she melted into him. There was nothing greater or scarier to her than the thought of someone loving her so much and she had been pushing him away because of it, she was definitely fucked up she wondered if he would have even noticed her if he hadn't imprinted on her, the self doubt was like a kick to gut and she pulled back.

His eyes searched hers as he caught his breath. "Bella?" He looked terrified, like he'd pushed her when it was the other way around because the ball was always in her court. She exhaled, the tears pricking at her eyes. "I need to get back to Leah's." She said through tears. Paul felt sick to his stomach, how did he get here? This constant aching and pulling away, he had patience but he also had his limits. Paul pulled away from the beach and Bella willed the tears to stay put until she was safely away from him. "I...I'm sorry." She whispered, she hadn't meant to hurt him, she could feel it coming off of him in waves. "I just don't know how to let you...love me...I don't know how you could." She said defeatedly. Paul pulled up to the house and looked at her. She was so messed up, he wanted to help her but he just didn't know how. He sighed letting his head fall into his hands, he was beyond frustrated but he felt guilty for feeling that way. It was like their feelings continued to crash into each other. "I'll see you tomorrow." He finally said, he could feel the hurt his words had caused but he needed to be able to think about this without her feelings drowning all his senses. Bella sniffled out a goodbye as she hopped clumsily out of his SUV. Paul watched to make sure she was inside before peeling out. Bella made it inside and into the room before she choked on her sobs, she replayed that kiss over and over and cried herself to sleep.

**AN: I want to explain myself a little here. I think grief comes in waves and with a person who spent most of her life searching for love and acceptance from a toxic parent, someone who never really had stability in their life, it hits extra hard and I think it would be especially hard for Bella to just accept those feelings without feeling conflicted and terrified because all she knows is loss at this point. As for Paul, he's human who has also been through a lot, I feel like some mystical bond would possibly draw them together and possibly plant the seed of possibility for them both, I believe it would continue to draw them together manipulating their feelings in some way but underneath that, they're still two screwed up individuals. With all that being said I thank you for reading and hope you can stick it out, let me know your thoughts, I would appreciate the feedback. **


	6. Chapter 6

**6\. Anchor**

Anger was mostly a foreign emotion to Paul because he worked so hard at not being like his father, it became more work to just keep the feeling at bay but he'd gotten really good at it. Right now though it was coursing through his veins and as he jumped out of his truck and kicked off his shoes in his mother's driveway, it was intense and he could no longer control the way his body rippled and shook, he ran into the tree line and exploded, he was so disoriented with the suddenness of his phase that he didn't think about who was on patrol hearing his every thought. Seth and Quil were running as Paul's memory of his imprint kissing him then pulling away played on a loop, even if they could think the situation through rationally, it was hard not to feel the sting of rejection through their packmate. Paul was reeling, Seth could feel the waves of anger and sadness that ran through him. _Not good enough, never good enough _continued on a loop as he ran, the feelings were so raw, it was hard to think clearly, even if Paul could decipher her reasons, he would still spiral because this was about him and how he did not know how to handle his emotions.

Bella was literally perfect for him, some fate had decided that for them but he was far from perfect for her or anyone, he could barely contain the grief that brought him. What was wrong with him? Bella would eventually see what a massive fuck up he was. Seth interrupted his thoughts, he wasn't sure what he could even say to his packmate to pull him back up from this hole he'd dug himself into. "Paul, you're not a fuck up." He had known the older wolf his whole life, he couldn't remember a time that he didn't admire or respect him and that was just a general perspective. Paul did so much to help his mom, since he was just a kid he helped raise his sister Katie, he worked when he was able to to help with the bills and he graduated with above average grades, how could he not know how remarkable that was? As far as he could tell Bella was very quickly falling for his packmate. Did Paul really not see the way she watched him, the way she moved around him, he was someone she trusted whole heartedly and Seth was positive that she loved him. Paul ran until his legs were tired, he was never normally this dramatic and couldn't understand why this bothered him so much. Quil had been quietly listening in. "Maybe because you've always had it easy with girls." Because Paul Lahote was a ladies man, females seemed to love him and Quil couldn't remember a time that he had ever been 'rejected' or turned down. It didn't happen. "Plus doesn't the relationship change when you become more...physical with your imprint?" When Sam was 18 he imprinted on Jacob's fourteen year old sister, things were awkward for a long time, Sam fought hard against the bond because he didn't want to be looked at like some pervert and Rachel was a young hormonal girl who had this instant connection with this man beast who walked around shirtless and buff, it was torturous to be in his head until she was old enough that he could actually think about her like his equal. There were lots of unexpected outbursts from the sheer frustration he felt being ruled by some supernatural bond, eventually though when the nature of their relationship changed, he seemed to settle down. It was primal to want to mate, they were barely considered adults, their bodies were overflowing with testosterone constantly, not meeting those needs usually led to pent up stress and anger, up until Paul imprinted on Bella he was actively meeting those needs, this was probably the longest he'd been without sex. Paul paused at Quil's thoughts, could it really be that simple? Quil and Seth thought so.

Paul had slunk quietly through the back door of his house, his mom left a towel out for him, his tattered clothes were sitting on a pile on the sofa, he went to shower and get ready for bed. When he finally checked his phone he found several texts and missed calls from Leah, she was angry that he made Bella cry. Paul sighed heavily and texted her back, he was sorry and he was going to fix it. That kiss though, he had to give his imprint credit she was brave to make the first move, he obviously didn't have the balls to do that sort of thing anymore. He closed his eyes as he replayed the memory, he would fix it.

The morning light shone through the cracks in the curtains as Bella struggled to open her eyes, they were puffy again, she reached for her phone, it was still early enough that she could probably sleep a little longer, her phone buzzed in her hand. It was a text from Paul. _Sorry for being a dick. _She sighed he had nothing to be sorry for though, she should be the one apologizing. _I should have heard you out, I freaked because I guess I thought maybe I made things uncomfortable for you. _Paul confessed. There were a million things going through her mind and she wasn't sure how to begin to reply because maybe he felt bad but so did she. _I'll forgive you if you forgive me for being a complete spazz. _She replied, Bella watched those three little dots as he typed back. _Forgiven. _She breathed out a sigh of relief._ Maybe we should still talk though...after work or something. _He told her, she agreed and then got up to get ready for her second day of work.

Leah was watching her as she prepared herself a coffee. "Everything okay Bells?" She seemed concerned, Bella gave herself a mental slap, of course she was concerned. It was only last night, less than 13 hours earlier that she was sobbing hysterically. "I kissed Paul..." Leah's mouth fell open. "I kissed him then when things got heavier I sort of pushed him away." She heaved out a sigh. "It was amazing Leah...but then I ruined it, I just kept thinking and thinking and then froze up." Bella looked sad as she relived the memory. "He thought it was him and then he seemed to freak out, I asked him to bring me back here and then he drove off before I could really explain anything." Leah seemed to understand now. "That's probably the first time Paul's ever been shut down like that." She chuckled, Bella seemed confused so she continued to explain. "He was a player, maybe not like city boy player but he's had his share of girls around here anyway." The realization hit Bella a little too strongly. "Oh." The younger woman said, her face had fallen and Leah felt bad. "He's not like that anymore Bells, he's been a one woman man since he imprinted on you." Bella frowned, it had been what she was worried about. What did he even think of her without being drawn to her the way he was? "It is just the imprint then." She finally said, she felt a knot in her stomach as her heart dropped. Leah shook her head quickly. "It's not like that at all Bells...is that really what you think?" Bella shrugged defeatedly, it was exactly what she thought though. "He's not forced to feel anything for you, the imprint just draws him to you...the love and shit...that's all Paul." Bella blinked herself out of the spell she was in while Leah continued. "I thought you knew this. It brought him to you when you needed someone the most Bella, this is why it happened the way it did, I mean that's what I think anyway...everyone has their own theories. He is still Paul under all that mystical shit, I would know I can still hear and see inside his head." Leah rolled her eyes dramatically. Bella breathed finally, she thanked Leah and they finished getting ready in silence.

The shop was considerably quiet when Bella walked in, she looked around hoping to see Paul. What Leah had told her had sort of stomped down the self doubt she was feeling. Jacob was in the office waiting for her with what she was sure was a forced smile. "Bella, come...sit." He said through his teeth. Her heart began to beat a little more rapidly now, did she screw something up the day before? She sat down on the chair across from him. "Sooo..." He drew out a breath. "My sister Rebecca was supposed to come in and train you through the rest of this process and she bailed...again." He said through gritted teeth. "I am hoping we can get through as much of this as possible so I can get back out in the shop with the boys." Bella was afraid to say anything because he seemed to be really stressed out. "So...you're not firing me?" She asked quietly. He frowned before really looking at her. "Of course not!" Jacob said seriously. "I just want to get you set up quickly, it's been stressing me out." He told her honestly, he was seriously considering taking the other 'R' out of his shops name, Rachel wouldn't have pulled this shit on him. "So let's get started." He said, getting back to business. There was a lot for Bella to learn but she was quickly becoming familiar with the programs and paperwork she needed. Paul and Jared must have been called out pretty far as they returned close to lunch time with food for all of them. They gathered in the office after the men all washed up.

"Bella is killing it today." Jacob said through a mouth full of food, Jared and Paul nodded and mumbled a "Nice job babe." and "Fucking Eh." Bella tried really hard not to concentrate on the fact that Paul had called her babe because she had been so unsure of what their encounter the previous night meant. She smiled and shyly thanked them all, she was honestly really glad for the break because as well as she was doing she was terrified she was going to forget something. The afternoon went smoothly enough she was able to figure things out and Jake peaked in on her pretty regularly, so did Paul. He offered her a ride home after their day was over, she happily accepted. He began driving a different direction and she didn't think much of it until they were stopped outside the youth centre. A young girl she had seen around several times had come bounding up to the SUV and jumped in with a couple of her friends. Paul was grinning at her. "Katie this Bella, Bella this is my baby sister." The young girl reached forward to shake her hand. "It's nice to meet you. Pauly talks about you a lot...like a lot a lot." The girl said as she burst into giggles with her friends. Paul rolled his eyes but didn't deny it, his imprint blushed just as he expected her to. "Nice to meet you Katie." The girls continued to talk in the back until Paul dropped the girls, who Bella assumed were sisters off. Katie chatted to Paul about her day at school and the youth program she attended afterwards. Bella listened contentedly, it was comforting to see a piece of Paul's life she had never been a part of before then. They drove up to a large yellow house. "Is this where you live?" Bella asked as he parked, Paul nodded before Katie cut in. "He fixed it up for us." The girl stated proudly. Bella looked back at Katie and smiled. "He did a wonderful job, its beautiful, I love the colour." "It's my favourite colour, him and mom let me pick." Bella looked at Paul, she knew he was amazing in a lot of ways but this was a whole new level. "You should come have supper with us, mom isn't home from work yet and Paul usually cooks, well I help him but he's scared I'll burn or cut myself so I usually only do the easy stuff." The girl rambled on, Bella looked at Paul, he seemed to be waiting for her to answer. "Sure, I mean if that's okay." They both nodded.

Bella helped Katie cut up vegetables as Paul got cleaned up, she always hated cooking and maybe it was because she was forced into the role of caretaker when her grandparents became too ill to look after her, this however seemed comfortable. "Are you Paul's girlfriend yet?" Katie asked without giving Bella the chance to answer she continued. "I know you're his imprint or whatever its called but are you guys like official yet?" Bella was almost too stunned to answer, she wasn't quite sure what to say to the younger girl, thankfully Paul had come barrelling in, he must have heard the whole thing. Bella met his eyes, that question burning through her mind. "Yea...I think I am his girlfriend now." His smile made her knees go weak. "Finally. Mom's gonna be so happy, she's always asking Pauly when she's going to meet you." Bella laughed at Paul's expression, he looked genuinely happy but by the tinge of pink on his cheeks she guessed he was feeling a little caught out. Katie continued to chatter away while the three of them prepared dinner, she was so bubbly and her energy was contagious Bella found herself laughing out loud most of the way through. Paul's mom walked in not long after they started the food, she was wearing pink scrubs with green frogs all over the shirt. "Mom! Bella's here, she's Paul's girlfriend now. She helped us make supper tonight, she is so cool, did you know she lived in New York?" The older woman hugged her daughter laughing before making her way over to Paul and Bella. "Ma...this is Bella." Paul said, he seemed so nervous and Bella did her best not to let that bother her, she extended her hand. "Bella this is my mom Denise." The older woman smiled before gently pulling her into a hug, at first Bella tensed up not knowing what to do but something in her just sort of dropped her walls and she hugged her back. "I'm so glad to finally meet you Bella. Your dad was a friend of the family and when Paul told me you were his imprint, I was overjoyed, you are stuck with us now." She joked as she released her, Bella couldn't help how easily the chuckle slipped out, she felt so welcome.

The four of them sat down and enjoyed a meal over small talk, Katie carried them through their conversations, Denise told Bella about her job at the hospital in Forks, she also worked at the clinic in La Push some weekends, she seemed passionate about her job and even more so for her children. Paul was fairly quiet through most of their conversations, Bella tried not to overthink why that was. As it got later Bella knew it was time for her to head back to Leah's, Denise and Katie both hugged her and made her promise to come back as soon as she could, Bella was positive that was a promise she could follow through with. Paul drove her back, he was still quiet. "Paul?" She didn't want to meet his eyes for fear of what she might see she continued. "You have a beautiful family." She said simply, she meant it and though she was certain he must know it too she thought he needed to hear it. Paul blinked, he hadn't been expecting that at all, he was afraid his mom and sister scared Bella off in all honesty. "They really are something." They were his entire world, even after he imprinted that part of his world could never have shifted, he was proud of that. They arrived to Leah's and Bella could feel her palms beginning to sweat, she didn't want a repeat of the first night. "Did you wanna come in for some tea...or something?" Bella asked him hesitantly. Paul beamed at her, throwing the butterflies in her stomach into a frenzy. "Yea I'd like that."

Jacob and Leah were sitting on the couch cuddling, Bella stopped and blinked in surprise. Apparently she was the only one who hadn't known about the pair. "Oh sorry." She said as she turned toward the kitchen with Paul on her tail. She started the kettle as Paul watched her leaning against the counter. "You didn't know...?" He said as she scurried around the kitchen searching for mugs and tea bags. "I mean it's so obvious now that I think back on everything but no..." She laughed. "I really didn't know." They sat down at the table in the kitchen. "I'm sorry about last night Paul." Bella finally said, she had been thinking about it all day. "I just...I froze up when I thought about everything." She felt a little better being able to actually explain to him. "I have never ever really been in any serious relationships before...like ever and guys didn't seem to like me for me so I ended up doing a lot of pretending and it didn't help that Renee was putting it in my head how shitty I was..." Bella inhaled. "I believed it...I mean sometimes I still believe it. I went to therapy for years when I lived with my grandparents...then they died and Renee plucked me back up and undid everything." Bella didn't want to be sad anymore but this wound was so out of control and she had to stop trying to cover it up. "I don't know how to accept attention or affection...and I know with you it wouldn't ever be anything but genuine feelings of love but please be patient with me Paul...I am..." Damaged she thought as she searched for words. "Hurting...I am going to freeze up and push you away but its not because I don't care about you because I really, truly do. I just need to work on me." Bella finished. Paul was really proud of her for getting through all that without breaking down. "I'll always be whatever you need me to be Bella." He spoke with a sincerity that made her heart swell, it was more of a promise than anything else. "I haven't really been serious with anyone either..." Paul admitted. "And I have never ever felt this way about anyone before and I know it's not some wolf magic. I have a lot of shit that I have to work on too...like handling my feelings. I've pushed everything down to the point where I literally explode into a wolf every few weeks. I am not gonna lie Bella I used a lot of girls to get what I wanted, its not something I'm proud of, I just wanted to feel something I guess..." Bella reached over to grab his hand. "So we are both a little...fucked up." She said laughing, he shrugged and joined in. "Guess we are." Paul felt like a giant weight had been lifted off his chest, he felt freer and he guessed it had a lot to do with Bella's relief. Imprinting was so fucked up, he still didn't quite understand how it worked but he was glad it had worked in their favour. They eventually joined Jacob and Leah in the living room, he gently pulled Bella into his side she sighed contentedly. Paul was positive that his day would not have ended like this but he was glad it did. Bella had called herself his girlfriend, met the two most important in the world, aside from her of course and they all hit it off. Bella's soft snores snapped him out of his daze, he was afraid to move so he didn't. Leah snickered at him from the other sofa. "You are so whipped." She said but she was smiling happily at him, Paul shrugged. "Yea." Paul replied honestly as he held his imprint, his girlfriend a little closer, yea he was.

**AN: This could easily be the last chapter...but its not. I have a couple more. My apologies for the delay...its probably going to be another week or so before I can get the next one out. I would love to hear thoughts on this chapter, thank you for your reviews, as well as adding to your favourites and alerts. **


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